Halloween: Resurrection

Full Disclosure: I did watch this on TV at my parents house over Christmas. But I'm glad I did. If I hadn't I would have never seen the movie's Netflix page.

I'm going to post the three most recent reviews of the film, all positive, and then we can discuss the correlation between IQ and star ratings for this movie.

A five-star review from use familyguyisfunny:

I rented the movie at the video store and thought it was a great movie. I will rate it 5 stars.

A five-star review from user zxc 291844:

Hi There Michael Myers Fans, I can not help it but I think these Halloween Movies are my favorite, I love Michael Myers, he is my BoogeyMan, and he still scares the woopie out of me, and will always. The music is so crazy, it scares me so much. The actors though in this one are not that good but Michael is number one.

A three-star review from user znd 467468:

Jamie Lee Curtis doing what she does best, and thats making great movies, I have added it to my dvd collection.

Chop Shop from Netflix

A 2-star review from Netflix:

I would have rated this higher if I was actually surprised by the content - because without the surprise, there is really no entertainment value. Are there homeless kids getting by and making ends meet in the city? Of course there are - do some of them have prostitute sisters? Of course they do. Bland and boring, nothing new here.

I did happen to see this film, and there are certainly no car chases or explosions. 

What is confusing is the line of logic here. So, it is not interesting or surprising because these things happen in real life. Real life is "bland and boring." 

That's what I can milk from the teet of this review. By this logic the only good films contain things that never happen in real life...to be honest I think I saw this guy writing this review at Comic Con, so fair enough. Battlestar Gallactica is, truly, greater than any film ever made about a historical event or a situation that could have potentially actually happened in real life. Then again I think I saw a re-enactment of a Battlestar Gallactica scene at Comic Con so I'm not sure if that disqualifies Battlestar. (Editors Note: it's hard to tell if it was Battlestar Gallactica, Star Wars, Star Trek, or just a bunch of nerds dressed as spacemen fighting over a hot dog.)

I'll have to dig deeper into this fellas reviews and get back to you tomorrow. 

"Family Guy" from Amazon

4-Star review from Amazon

I wish people would just enjoy the show for what it is instead of bashing it on here. If (in my opinion) you want to comment on it say something positive not negative. THere's enough negative crap in the world as it is. Sure every show and movie out there has flaws. Nobody is perfect. You know there is a button on your t.v. remote that says on/off you know. Stewie is my fave character! I got the family guy bendable set and a Stewie plush animated doll. HILARIOUS!!! SOmeone always comments on it when new people come over. You know they should make a movie: "Chucky vs. Stewie"! That would've been better I believe than the "Seed of CHucky". THink about it, there both bout the same size and both have overalls. Hmmmm. What you all think? Just a idea. I got a few Chucky dolls from 12" to 30" too. That Stewie Halloween costume is cool too!

I'm a little confused. WHat DOes THis ACtually SAy?

"The Dark Knight" from Amazon

Two 1-star reviews from Amazon:

painful to watch!!!

don't understand what is so great about this movie. It's a decent action flick, but not the best or most exciting.
The opening scene was REALLY good, but after that the movie got so DULL. If it weren't for Heath Ledger's performance, I would have not bothered watching at all. Everyone else, except for Eric Roberts who was pretty cool in his small part, this was boring as KING KONG!!!

"HULK 08" is a much better super hero movie for 2008.
Edward Norton from American History X & Fight Club... need I say more

Capitalization is not a strong point for this user, we'll call him "prOBably from teXas." prOBably from teXas, the issue with your logic here is that because of Dustin Hoffman's great performances in The Graduate or, say, Rain Man then Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium should be a brilliant film, it's not. Though I'm with you on King Kong people who barely appear in the movie are the best parts.

I couldn't pick just one, there are so many great reviews of this film on Amazon, so I decided to include an additional, bonus review today.

The amount of violence in this film is disturbing for anyone, let alone the PG-13 designation. I expected comic book violence in the film, but I was appalled at the mass destruction and menace that smacks of terrorism, and haven't we had enough of that? Is this what the creator of Batman intended?

Moreover, while the plot of choosing good over evil is admirable, I
feel that the sub-plot of masking good as evil for the sake of the
order, is manipulative and dishonest. Sure it's a good ploy for setting
up future Batman films, but it's merely setting the stage for more of
the same old stuff. How much violence and bad-boy heroes do we really need
to be entertained?

Yes, yes, it's ok, there, there, moral complexities are difficult, and a sin. Those liars at Warner Bros., evil isn't good and good isn't evil, no, I understand, you aren't crazy. Let's go to church and see if god can damn these people straight to hell. I bet there is a strong correlation between people who hated this movie and loved Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.

"Forrest Gump" from Sazze

Here is a 4-star review of the film from Sazze.com:

Timeless. Ok, so Tom Hanks went to my high school and spoke at my graduation, but I'm not biased! Seriously, I am not a huge Tom Hanks fan, but Forrest Gump is one of those movies that has it all. Part love story, part historical chronicle, it's a feel-good movie that gets you rooting for the underdog.

Robin Wright-(Penn? still? or did she drop it since they divorced?) plays the beautiful, but mixed-up girl next door that Forrest falls in love with. I don't know why I haven't watched this one with the kids yet. I bet they would love it, too.

I can tell from this review (which isn't particular awful on the surface) that this person is that friend that you accidently forget to call when yo change your plans for the evening. Everyone was going to go to The Cockblower Lounge you tell her, and then no one calls when you all decide that it's surely has to be Ana Lingus instead.

If it were only her incessant watching of TMZ, and her addiction to Perez Hilton, that would be one thing. But she has the ability to tie every conversation she has back to Tom Hanks, and interjects, 'Did I mention that I went to high school with him?' And you subsequently purchase a meat clever and follow her home that night, but decide you couldn't possibly do it as you sit with your back to a tree in her backyard. No. No. The timing isn't right. They'd know it was you. Next week. Next week her kids are at summer camp, then, then you can stop Tom Hanks from boring you every time you go out. You decide to go see a movie to relax. Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War...wait....no!!!!